Thursday, December 10, 2015

Gone

Gone were the days when your memory
would haunt me day and night, unrelenting
until I bleed from within.

Gone were the nights when your name
is the last thing I whisper before I fall asleep
as I wait for my dreams.

Gone were the hours when every love song 
feels like the last words we said to each other
before we said goodbye.

Gone were the times I look to the heavens
hoping the stars would lead me
right where you are. 

Gone were the days, gone were the nights
Gone were the memories I held in my heart. 
Every dream ended when you said goodbye. 


***
A/N: Feel kong mag-emote kaya pagbigyan. hahaha :P

Friday, April 10, 2015

With Love

You have grown so fast I could hardly remember
How you looked as a baby, those memories seem unclear
But seeing how lovely you've grown reminds me
Of how I was once like you and how much I've grown older.

When I was your age I often find myself dreaming
Of a place I could run to, where I can be free to fall apart
Far from prejudice, from the bondage of this painful reality
Where I can hear the quiet beatings of my tender heart.

I kept searching far and wide, yet only in my mind
Imagination took me to places no one else had ever been
My mind powerfully conceived a sense of freedom and worth
Even when the perils of this world kept me locked from within.

I was weary of thinking too much, of feeling less important
Surely there was a place for the pieces of my broken heart
Only when I dropped on my knees did I truly find my home
In the heart of Jesus, I was always welcome from the start.

No man can ever fill the longings of our hearts
Than the one who gave us life, and loved us without a doubt
He died on the cross so you and I may breathe and live
Christ paid for our freedom, our sins were all wiped out.

May all that you do bring Him glory and pleasure
God loves you deeply and knows all of your sorrows
When you give him your heart he will give you all that you desire
Never doubt our Maker, He has secured all your tomorrows.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Finally

Maybe it's just me who never really moved on
The one who kept chasing you even until this time
While you took every step away from me
As if you loathed the ground I walked upon
Without so much as a word or an answer
To the many whys and how and where
Leaving me to figure out the walls beneath your silence
Never once looking back to where I was
Or if I was still running after you
Uncaring if I stumble or fall along the way
Closing your heart and your ears to all my plea.

There I was, watching you walk away
Your form became smaller on the horizon.
Finally, I found the sense to stop the chase
And the courage to accept and to grieve
Slowly losing my resolve, I succumbed to my loss
Tasting bitter tears until every drop was spent
Leaving my heart broken, cold and empty.
Not once did I hear you say you love me
While I yearned for your affection, for a little love,
Once again, the fear of the unknown consumed me
I said goodbye to the laden wind as I let you go, finally.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

A Hopeless Case

I guess I haven't changed after all when it comes to you, 
I'm still constantly afraid that you'd leave
even though you've been out of my life for some time
I guess nothing has changed, I'm still the same pathetic waste
who was constantly afraid and annoyingly insecure.

Terrified that you'd change your mind, that you'd push me away
or fool around just because I bruised your feelings first.
I guess I'm still the same girl with the hopeless case
of being foolishly in love with you.

The same girl who writes to you because she couldn't stop
even though you never bothered to pour feelings into words.
I'm still the same person who lives and breathes your name
the same girl who was constantly afraid of being hurt again.
I'm still the same old me who never really deserved to be loved.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

When You Say You Love Me

You said you love me still and my tears fell unbridled
I don't know if it meant I was forgiven when I broke your heart
Or if those words were meant to console me, knowing I bled too much
but you said you love me and nothing else mattered to me than that.

If my heart could grow wings I'll let it fly to wherever you are
so it would hold you tight until you fell asleep peacefully tonight
I wonder if we ever get the chance to meet again someday
Will you pull me into your arms or will you just walk away?

I have bottled too many emotions inside me since I left
Feelings that were all meant for you yet I was constantly afraid
that you will simply forget and move on as if we had never met
I had to read your words so many times before I was convinced.

Whether or not your words are true, I still want to thank you
For remembering...for not choosing to forget what we had
Thank you for loving me even when I don't deserve it
For sticking around when you should have pushed me away instead.

I missed you more than you'll ever know, more than words can say
A part of me will always belong to you and to the years we shared
I can't ask you to wait for me, I know it would be too much
all I ask is for you to tell me honestly when you want to set me free.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Before Goodbye

Before I let you go, is it okay to ask one last time?
did you ever love me or was your love only a lie?
how could you easily forget? why can't you remember?
all the days and nights we shared, do they even matter?

I tried to forget you and yet each time I tried, I failed
I wondered how you do it, how could you easily forget
I am thousands of miles away and yet our memories haunt me
Can you tell me your secret so I too, could forget?

Before I tell you goodbye, is it alright to ask?
what part of me did you really love?
it was always so easy for you to let me go
you always accomplished to make me feel so low.

Is it alright to ask for your forgiveness?
I'm sorry for choosing to let you go instead of holding on
I'm sorry for your pain when I chose to break your heart
I couldn't blame you if your love for me were all gone.

Before I walk away completely, I need an honest answer
what comes to your mind when you think of me?
Are your memories of us as fond as I could remember
Or were they too disgusting for you to even bother?

I was the one who left, I was the one who hurt you
yet why do I feel like I was the one who lost my way?
I was the one who took so many steps away from you
so why do I feel like I couldn't really find the right way?

Before I say goodbye, I wanted to thank you
for all the memories albeit some of them make me cry
I can't take away the sadness from all our happy years
for only in times of sorrow we can be grateful for the happy days. 

I will still write for you in the wee hours of the morning
Or when the clouds shroud the moonlight on an evening so cold
In those moments of nothingness, I will let my heart form a dream
Only when the world is quiet will thoughts of you unfold.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Before I Fall

Before I give you my heart, I would like to know
Can you still love me even if I become bent and slow?
Will you still love me when I'm all wrinkled and gray?
Or listen to me even when I talk nonsense all day?

Before I say 'yes' to you, will you please tell me 'no'?
If I become too stubborn and carelessly lets you go?
Will you run after me should I try to walk away?
Or will you simply give up and ignore me all day?

Before I give you my heart, are you strong enough to give?
When I would demand respect and loyalty as long as you live
When I ask for your whereabouts, will you honestly tell me?
If I become impossible and mean, will you still love me?

Before I chose to love you, can you make a choice right now?
To love God and me alone, can you keep it as your sacred vow?
I need to know just how much of me you can really love
Before I give you my heart...before I fall in love.



***
3.28.15
3:51 PM


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Begin Again

How is it possible to feel so alive 
when I knew my heart had already died?
Does it have something to do with your smile?
Or the way you always seem to read my mind?

I never wanted to listen to your stories
Yet I keep hearing your voice in my head
I never bothered to ask about your day 
Yet you bragged about thinking of me.

How is it possible to feel my heart racing
When I never even ran a mile?
You bring me flowers and I well up in tears
So you planted them instead to cast forth my fears.

But I wasn't afraid of the flowers dying
Or that the season will eventually change.
I was more afraid that your feelings will fade
It usually happens no matter how hard I prayed.

How is it possible to be so hopeful
When I had given up hope once before?
Love came knocking since I can't remember when
This might be the right time for us to begin again. 

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Whispers Of My Heart

It’s been so long since the day you said you love me
And I've been searching for words to let you know
I am not yet ready for that complicated thing called love.

I know that I have hurt you many times before
I know how much you suffered, how your heart had bled
When I chose to neglect your feelings and the words you said.

You know that I believe in you, I always do
And when I heard about this new girl that you liked, I cried.
No matter how hard I try, my heart just wouldn't deny.

I know now there is nothing more to hide or hold back
When I finally gave up fighting the whispers of my heart
I know I would always be safe in your arms.

Will you still have me? Do I still exist somewhere in your heart?
The memory of me may be vague by now and fading slowly
But maybe your heart will recognize that it had once beat for me.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

My Dear Tristan

You bore witness to the laments of all broken hearts
You knew of the smiles behind the letters I write
When I exposed my soul for all the world to see
Hoping somehow, those words would lead him to me.


You knew of the truth I was afraid to disclose

And the many times I sighed, uncertain of my choice.

The smiles and tears hidden behind the screen

The hesitation, the waiting, and the chase in between.


Never in my imagination you would leave without a trace

Those years held endless memories and timeless tales.

You took with you the secrets of all the broken hearts

Forever lost, forever broken like all the other parts.


And though I bid you goodbye, you will forever remain

In my memory, in my heart and in my soul you will stay.

You may be lost but will always be a part of me
Never forgotten, like the love I treasure for eternity.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

This Heart, This Love

The familiar tinge of that old love song
A never ending remembrance of a sweet embrace
Etched forever like an eternal dream
Unreachable, unfathomable
As the song that remained after the rain.

Silence stretched forever, unyielding
A kind of noiselessness that pierced my mind
Until I finally found solitude 
When a ray of light shone upon the darkness
Cast forth despair etched long ago in my dreams.

The old song played on and on, taunting
Familiar verses flooding my mind
Reliving a forgotten memory
A promise I once held and kept sacred
So this heart could live and breathe again.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

De Javu

I've been trying to keep these tears contained
No need to trouble you with words better left unsaid
This curse that I bear will be mine and mine to own
For though I smile, deep inside I still feel so alone.

You still have the same effect on me as the first time
My hands tremble, my heartbeat paced with every rhyme.
My breath quicken and my mind swirled with questions
When you talk to me, I can never contain all these emotions.

Of all the stories in the world, I believe ours was the best
It's my all-time favorite, more beautiful than the rest.
And though our music ended with a broken note on the line
Your name is still the one I love to write next to mine.